


Under Me You Quite So New

by exandriantrashpanda (topothesia)



Series: Fire and Ice [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series) RPF
Genre: M/M, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-20
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-30 04:11:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15744024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/topothesia/pseuds/exandriantrashpanda
Summary: “Let’s talk about your history,” the therapist says to the couple in front of her. “Could you tell me what your first time as alpha and omega was like?” When was it? How old were you? Did you know each other beforehand? Were you already in an intimate relationship?”Or, first times for our alpha/omega pairs, featuring terrible futons and even more terrible jokes.





	1. Taliesin and Matt

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to the events in "Hold With Those Who Favor Fire" and its sequel "But If It Had to Perish Twice," focusing on the first times for our alpha/omega pairs. I really need to do the math involved in creating a timeline for this AU, but let's just say it was at least a decade before current events. 
> 
> Thank you to my two fellow Shame Pit denizens who have been reading snippets of this and encouraging me in my fic madness.

“Let’s talk about your history,” the therapist says to the couple in front of her. “Could you tell me what your first time as alpha and omega was like?” When was it? How old were you? Did you know each other beforehand? Were you already in an intimate relationship?”

***

“Could you just...stay...for a while?” Matt asks as they enter Taliesin’s small bedroom and he flops down onto Taliesin’s terrible futon that he’s always swearing he’ll replace when his ship comes in. _The glamor of being actors in your 20s_ , he thinks. He then realizes that maybe it’s weird to ask your best friend to stay with you when he’s offered to let you lie down in his bedroom, especially given that he’s feigning sickness in an attempt to disguise the fact that he’s in heat. Tal’s practically had to help him make it to the bedroom already, though, so what’s a little more weird on top of that?

“Shove over,” Taliesin says, and lies down next to him, both of them on their sides.

“What are you doing?” Matt asks as Taliesin puts his arms around him and buries his face in Matt’s neck.

“Staying,” Taliesin says. “Christ, you’re hot. I mean, you’re always hot, if you know what I mean, but you actually feel like you’re on fire right now. Are you in heat?”

Matt flushes even deeper, this time with shame, casting around for a plausible excuse.

Before Matt can say anything, Taliesin buries his face in Matt’s neck and inhales deeply, and says, “You are. Oh, Jesus, Matt, why didn’t you just tell me? You know I’m an alpha. I can help you.”

Matt’s had help with his heats one before in the form of an anonymous encounter off of the alpha/omega listings on Craigslist, and that was enough to convince him that it was better off to say he has the flu and lock himself in his room and take care of things himself any other time it’s happened. But this is...this is Taliesin. His best friend. He knows Tal’s an alpha, but he also doesn’t seem like most of the other alphas he’s ever met let alone the Ideal Alphas everyone posts about on the internet.

Taliesin pulls Matt closer, and oh God, their bodies feel so good pressed together, and Matt suddenly wants Taliesin inside him so much, this feels absolutely like where he’s supposed to be. But then Matt forces himself to push Taliesin’s arms off and roll away until he’s face down on the other side of the futon.

“Matt?” Taliesin asks. “Just...talk to me, okay?”

Matt buries his face in the lumpy futon mattress. “This hurts and I hate it and I don’t want to talk about it,” he mumbles, and it sounds almost like he’s crying. “But if you want to, go ahead. I guess it couldn’t make it worse.”

Taliesin makes a shocked noise. “What do you think I’m going to do to you?” he finally asks, sitting up.

“What alphas do,” Matt mumbles, still face down.

Taliesin makes another surprised noise, this one angrier. “Sweet Christ, Matthew. What have you been doing to yourself? Or letting other people do to you?”

“I said I don’t want to talk about it,” Matt mutters. “Just...do it if you’re going to, okay? Otherwise just leave me alone.”

Taliesin sighs. “Roll over,” he says.

Matt slowly complies, and Taliesin can see that he’s been crying, and he wants to find all the people who made Matt feel like this and destroy each and every one of them. Sadly, he’s pretty sure that one of them would be Matt himself.

Matt lies there, compliant, waiting, looking both utterly irresistible and utterly miserable, and Taliesin feels like if he were a better man, he’d walk away, but the alpha in him is screaming to just take the omega, take him right now, take it all, and that part of him is very, very loud right now.

Taliesin finally leans down and kisses Matt. He tries to be gentle, but it’s not long before he’s nipping at Matt’s lips and his tongue is deep in Matt’s mouth and Matt is finally reacting, reaching a hand up to stroke Taliesin’s face, and oh God, he wants him so much.

Taliesin breaks the kiss and looks down at Matt’s face. His pupils are blown wide with arousal and he seems sort of stunned.

“I want you,” Taliesin says, and it’s both a confession and a command. “Let me help you. Let me have you.”

Matt nods and sighs softly. Taliesin figures that’s about as good as it’s going to get for now, pulls Matt to a sitting up position, and begins stripping off Matt’s clothes followed by his own. He wants to take his time, wants to show Matt that whatever happened before wasn’t how it's supposed to be, but God, the sight of Matt naked almost snaps his self control in half, and he pounces on Matt, pushing him back onto the bed, attempting to press every bit of their newly exposed skin together.

When Taliesin’s body settles on top of him, Matt almost flinches in anticipation of what must be immediately coming next, but then Taliesin begins rubbing against him, his cock burning like a brand against Matt’s left thigh, pressing kisses and nips all over Matt’s neck and shoulders, and Matt finds himself relaxing fractionally into the barrage of sensations and eventually surrendering entirely. Taliesin feels so good, it all feels really good, even though the ache of need inside him is still so strong and painful. _Is it supposed to feel like this_? Matt wonders.

Taliesin rolls off Matt and sits up, and Matt whines needily.

“Shhh,” Taliesin says gently, and kisses Matt on the lips again while his hand slides down Matt’s chest, fingertips skimming over his cock before shifting his thighs apart. Matt braces himself then, but Taliesin just slides a careful finger into Matt’s ass, testing his slickness, stroking slowly before adding another. The feeling of Taliesin’s fingers inside him is good but just makes the fire inside Matt burn hotter because it’s almost what he needs but not quite enough, and he rocks onto them, chasing something he can’t quite reach.

“Please…” Matt says softly, his voice breaking.

Taliesin doesn’t say anything, just slides his fingers out, moves to kneel between Matt’s spread legs, and slides into him with a firm thrust and a low deep moan of his own. Matt is so tight and slick around him that Taliesin has to pause and count backwards in his head for a moment so that he doesn’t just come immediately.

Matt cries out as Taliesin fills him, finally giving him what he wants, what he needs, what every fiber of his being has been screaming for since the heat started. Nothing else matters but this, and for once it actually feels right, like it’s supposed to be like this all the time.

“Fuck, Matt,” Taliesin breathes, finally starting to move again.

Matt just moans, words beyond him at the moment, his whole body vibrating with need as Taliesin continues to plunge into him. Taliesin shifts position a little and thrusts harder, and oh God, Matt doesn’t quite know exactly what’s happening or why that’s working so well when he does that, but then he’s coming so hard that he can’t even hold onto any thoughts at all.

Taliesin keeps fucking Matt through the orgasm and Matt’s shuddering aftershocks, but he doesn’t make it much longer than that before shouting “Fuck” and pouring out inside Matt, hips juddering unevenly against him before finally sliding out and more or less collapsing on top of him.

“Okay?” Taliesin says breathily, rolling off of Matt and lying on his side.

“Yeah, I...yeah,” Matt finally manages to say. He feels better, but also suddenly exhausted, as if the unrelenting neediness of heat was the only thing keeping him from complete collapse. He tries to say more, but his words trail off and his eyes flutter closed.

Taliesin wraps an arm around Matt, pulling him close. “Stay,” he murmurs as Matt sinks into sleep. “Just stay.”

But when he wakes in the morning, Matt is already gone.


	2. Liam and Sam

_You look like hammered shit_ , is what Liam wants to blurt out the first time he sees Sam after almost ten days of not speaking to or seeing his best friend, but he settles for “hello,” instead.

Sam’s sprawled on the couch in his living room. Even though it’s winter and the house seems chilly to Liam, Sam’s wearing only a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. His body is flushed, with a thin sheen of sweat on his chest and forehead, and his eyes glitter fever bright with dark rings under them. His normal exuberant presence seems dim, almost like it’s missing; instead he seems almost languid, as if he’s trying to focus through a haze.

“What are you doing here?” Sam asks, his voice oddly flat.

“Oh, you know, I was in the neighborhood, thought I’d stop by…” Liam says, trying to make light.

“Did she call you?” Sam asks, still flatly. “I specifically told her not to tell anyone.”

“I called her,” Liam says. “I was worried about you. Usually we talk all goddamn day about mundane bullshit, and you’ve been radio silent for almost two weeks.” He crosses to take a seat on the couch, and Sam shifts his feet automatically to make room for him as Liam sits down.

“What’s going on?” Liam asks, unable to wait any longer.

Sam sighs. “I’m sick. I’ll get better. Nothing you need to worry about. Thanks for stopping by,” he says, still in that flat tone, as if he’s talking to a stranger instead of to his best friend.

Liam doesn’t know how all of his worry suddenly becomes transmuted to anger between his brain and his mouth, but he blurts out, “You look like shit. What the hell is wrong with you and why didn’t you tell me? I’m your best friend, so don’t you dare try to blow me off.”

Sam flinches briefly at Liam’s tone, but then his face settles back into that same languid expression. “I really don’t want to talk about it. At least not until I’m absolutely sure about what it is. I’m just having a hard time accepting it right now.”

Liam feels the panic rising and tries to tamp it down, mentally reviewing illnesses in his head and trying to match them to the person in front of him. “Sam. Sammy-boy. At least give me a goddamn hint. Don’t make me play twenty questions here.” He reaches out and squeezes Sam’s hand impulsively, and Sam barely reacts.

Sam sighs. “Look, I’m on some medication right now to help with the symptoms, but even with it it’s hard to focus really well. Can we just have this conversation later? Or not at all?”

“If you’d just tell me what’s wrong with you, then this conversation would go a lot faster,” Liam says, trying to force himself to stay calm.

Sam sighs.

“Sam, I promise, whatever it is, it couldn’t possibly change how much I care about you,” Liam says, trying a different tactic. “But I can’t be here for you if I don’t know what’s going on.”

Sam looks at Liam, and Liam looks back at him with what he hopes is an expression of sweet loving concern but is probably one of half suppressed rage.

“I still think the doctors are wrong,” Sam says slowly. “I mean, who the fuck goes through the omega change at our age? It’s supposed to happen in your late teens or early 20s at the latest, not when you’re close to 30. It’s gotta be something else. So there’s no point in talking about it until I get an actual diagnosis that isn’t this complete bullshit one that I’ve got right now.”

Liam blinks as he parses this information but then lets out a deep sigh of relief. “Is that all it is? Christ, I thought you were dying.”

Sam laughs flatly. “Is that all it is? It’s upended my fucking life, Liam, and I still don’t believe it’s happening. Plus apparently people with ‘delayed onset omega disorder’ apparently don’t respond quickly to most of the medications used to treat it, which is why if I have it, which of course I do not, I still feel like complete and utter shit after almost two weeks.”

“Have you tried, uh, have you tried…” Liam falters, trying to figure out how to word it politely, although he’s not even sure why, given that it’s Sam, after all.

“I’m _married_ , Liam,” Sam says, a little more animation creeping into his tone. “And I’m not going to ask permission to cheat on my wife on the off chance that it will help treat a disorder that I almost certainly do not have, especially when there are other ways of dealing with it. There has to be some other explanation for this. Not to mention, even if that were actually something that could help, where the fuck would I even find an alpha? And don’t say the Internet.”

“Well,” Liam says slowly, “There’s me. I mean, I guess I’d have to check with my wife first, but I’m sure if I explain things...”

Sam’s face shutters. “That’s really fucking hilarious. Ha ha, very funny, great joke. This is exactly why I didn’t want to fucking tell you or anyone else,” and his voice cracks a little. He looks away from Liam.

“I’m not kidding, Sam,” Liam says. “I am an alpha.”

“And you never fucking told me?” Sam says.

“It didn’t seem relevant!” Liam says. “I mean, I’m also married, she’s a beta, and...it’s different for alphas. It just never came up.”

“You’re not just fucking with me?” Sam asks, looking at Liam.

Liam looks at Sam intently, catching his gaze and holding it. “Sam. You’re my best friend. I love you. I promise, I’m not fucking with you. Although I guess I am offering to fuck you, if that would help.”

Sam blinks and reaches a hand up to impatiently swipe at his eyes. “Goddammit, this weeping at everything is complete bullshit.”

Liam leans forward and impulsively puts a hand on the side of Sam’s face, using his thumb to brush away a stray tear. Sam's face feels like he’s been out in the sun for hours. Sam leans his head into Liam’s touch almost instinctively, and then jerks it away as he realizes what he’s doing, as if Liam’s hand and not Sam’s skin is what’s burning.

“I...need to think about this…” Sam says. “And talk to my wife. Okay?”

Liam swallows hard. “Yeah, I should...also be having some conversations. Look, whatever happens or doesn’t happen, will you please just talk to me about it from now on? I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

Sam nods. “I thought I was supposed to be the sappy one right now, but fine. Now can we talk about something else? Anything?”

“Fine,” Liam says, and changes the subject. They chat until Sam starts falling asleep mid-sentence, and Liam tucks a blanket over him and goes home to start probably the weirdest conversation he’s ever had with his wife.

***

“You’re sure? You’re one hundred percent sure?” Liam asks Sam for the fifth time.

Sam sighs and rolls his eyes. “Yes, I’m sure, my wife is sure, your wife is sure, okay? I just hope this works or we’ll have gone through all of this weirdness for absolutely nothing.”

It’s three days later and they’re in the guest bedroom at Sam’s house, by which they mean the office that also has a futon, because doing this in either of the bedrooms they share with their wives just seems way too weird, the thought of going to a hotel also seems sleazy, and also Sam is still obviously ill and doesn’t want to leave the house unless it’s absolutely necessary.

The medications definitely aren’t working well, and it seems to Liam like Sam’s slowly being burned out from within, like this change is going to consume him whole if it doesn’t stop soon. He somehow seems more gaunt and flushed than he did even three days ago, his usual quick wit is frequently missing, and it often it seems as if he’s struggling through a mist of pain. _Please let this work_ , Liam thinks. _I just want my best friend back._

“So, uh, how does this work?” Sam asks. “My doctors were not helpful, although they did say it couldn’t hurt to try.”

“Hell if I know,” Liam says. “I mean, I did some research, but it’s all pretty vague and some of it seems to contradict itself. I guess just...having contact...with an alpha helps to regulate what’s happening when an omega goes into heat and causes it to cease? I don’t know. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I’ll be honest, Liam,” Sam says, “This is not how or why I ever pictured having sex with you, let alone for the first time.”

“Lie back and think of England,” Liam jokes, enjoying Sam’s genuine laugh.

“Of all the alphas in all the world, I had to end up with a comedian,” Sam jests.

“I am a serious actor, thank you very much,” Liam says.

“Well, act your way over here, then,” Sam says, sitting down on the futon. Liam comes and sits next to him. He’s suddenly very aware of the nearness of Sam, the heat of his skin, the scent of him; somehow the same person he’s known for years and yet somehow changed by the weird alchemy enfolding him.

“I guess we should get naked,” Sam says, but there’s not much enthusiasm in his tone.

“Let’s make out first,” Liam says. “I mean, it is our first time. We should round all the bases before heading home.”

Sam rolls his eyes but also smiles softly. “Okay.”

Liam takes a deep breath -- God, he doesn’t think he’s ever been this nervous since his first actual teenage kiss -- and leans in, puts both of his hands on either side of Sam’s warm face, and kisses him lightly.

“Okay?” Liam asks nervously, feeling like his first actual kiss went way smoother than that.

“Is that all? C’mon, O’Brien, kiss me like you mean it,” Sam says.

“If you insist,” Liam says, and leans in again. This time it’s more lingering, even though it’s still slow. Sam opens his mouth, and then their tongues are tangling, and it’s definitely better than before.

Liam pulls his head back again, looking at Sam’s face, trying to see if he’s having any effect. _He just seems so fragile right now_ , Liam thinks. _Maybe this is a bad idea._

As if reading Liam’s mind, Sam says, “You’re not going to break me any more than I’m already broken,” and reaches for Liam, pulling him into another long kiss, wrapping his arms around Liam’s neck and tangling a hand in Liam’s hair.

As he and Sam intertwine, Liam can feel something stirring within him, a part of him that he’d almost forgotten existed awakening again. A sudden flash of desire streaks through him, a sudden urgent need to claim Sam, to make him his. He wraps his arms around Sam, pulling him closer, sliding a hand of his own up to settle in Sam’s curls, and they kiss for a long while as Liam feels electricity crackle in his veins.

Eventually he and Sam pull apart, both of them breathing heavily now, and Sam says, “Now, second base, is that over or under the shirt? It’s been a while for me…”

“Going to vote for shirts off,” Liam says hoarsely, and tugs Sam’s t-shirt over his head before removing his own. They’ve been to the beach before, so it’s not like they’ve never seen each other’s chests, but somehow this is still new. He places a hand over Sam’s heart, wondering if the racing he feels there is the same pace as the pounding of his own.

“Ooh, are we playing doctor now?” Sam asks. “Because I have this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side…”

“You’re terrible,” Liam says, and kisses Sam again, sliding a hand over to toy idly with Sam’s left nipple. Sam moans into Liam’s mouth, and the feel of it causes another flash of lighting to flow through Liam, a surge of need so powerful and so unlike anything he’s ever felt before. He wraps his arms around Sam again and Sam does the same for him, their hands roaming all over each other’s backs and chests, exploring this new-to-them territory.

Sam climbs into Liam’s lap, straddling him, and Liam reaches his hands down to cup Sam’s ass, squeezing it and pressing Sam tighter against him as they grind together, kissing and licking and biting at each other. Liam doesn’t think he’s been this hard since high school, and the sense of urgency in him is building, the need to claim Sam completely growing stronger every second.

Liam pulls back for a minute. Sam is still flushed, his eyes slightly glazed, and he’s trembling. “Are you okay?” Liam says.

“Reply hazy, ask again later,” Sam says, and his words are slightly slurred.

“Sam, I’m serious, we can stop, I don’t want to make this worse…” Liam says, even though he desperately wants to continue.

“Stopping seems like a very bad idea,” Sam says, sounding almost drunk. “We should skip to the part where we’re not wearing pants instead.”

“I think that counts as third base,” Liam says, gently helping Sam off of his lap. Sam flops back onto the bed, giggling a little. Liam stands up and removes the rest of his clothes, and then tugs at Sam’s shorts until Sam lifts his hips to help him take them off entirely. Then he lies down next to Sam, suddenly nervous again.

Liam puts a hand back on Sam’s chest, back over his racing heart. Sam’s still trembling, flushed from head to toe, his whole body an inferno, his breath coming in sharp pants, and to the tiny part of Liam’s rational mind remaining right now, this doesn’t seem right, even if the newly awakened voice in the back of Liam’s mind is saying _Yes, this is good, take this one now, make him yours_.

“I think…” Sam pants, slowly, carefully, as if every word takes great effort, “I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better. But I want...I need...”

“Are you sure?” Liam asks.

“Please, Liam, please,” Sam says, his voice breaking into a whimper.

Something about the whimpered word “please” breaks something in Liam, and suddenly all the anxiety is gone, replaced by nothing but desire.

“Spread your legs for me,” Liam says, and moves to kneel between them once Sam does.

Liam gently probes at Sam’s ass with a tentative finger, and oh dear God, he’s so slick, so wet. Sam whimpers at the contact and shivers, and Liam slides his finger in deeper, just to see how it feels. Sam moans and his cock twitches, and Liam feels his own twitch in response.

“Yeah,” Sam whines, “More…”

Liam adds a second finger, and Sam groans and twitches again, rocking down as Liam fucks into him. Liam takes his other hand and begins stroking Sam’s cock slowly, enjoying every reaction that he’s wringing out of Sam, savoring how absolutely amazing it is to finally be touching him like this.

Sam suddenly shakes his head, and Liam forces himself to stop what he’s doing. Sam opens his eyes. “I need you to fuck me,” he says. “Now.”

_Yes_ , the voice in the back of Liam’s head roars, and he shifts positions quicker than a gymnast, pulling Sam’s legs up so that they’re resting on his shoulders before thrusting deep inside.

Sam lets out a cry of relief and his eyes roll back briefly before he shuts them entirely. He’s still shaking, but he pushes back to meet Liam’s thrusts, moaning and gasping. “Yes, please, Liam, please please please…”

“Oh, God, Sam, fuck that’s good, fuck,” Liam pants, his mouth spouting a litany of nothing but obscene nonsense as he thrusts into him. He can’t describe how it feels because right now he can’t think; everything in the world has telescoped to nothing but the sensation of their bodies pressed together, of how absolutely right this is now and forever.

Liam licks his right hand and slides it down to Sam’s flushed and leaking cock and begins stroking firmly. “Come for me,” he says desperately, “Come for me, Sam, come for me, my only, my own…”

Sam’s mouth opens in an almost silent scream as he comes all over Liam’s hand, his whole body shuddering violently, clenching around Liam’s cock in a way that makes Liam’s eyes roll back briefly as well. It only takes one or two more thrusts before Liam is yelling as his own orgasm feels like it’s been ripped out of him and he’s spilling over into Sam, coming like he never has before, his whole body doused in white hot fire.

Eventually the feeling fades; Liam pulls out and essentially falls over next to Sam; now he’s the one trembling slightly. Sam is limp, his eyes still closed, some of the flush fading from his form, his breathing still fast but slowing from where it was before.

“Sam?” Liam asks. “Sam?!” He reaches a hand out and places it on the right side of Sam’s face, patting it gently.

“Hm?” Sam asks, sounding as though most of him is very far away.

Liam sighs with relief. “Still in there?”

“Huh? Yeah…” Sam says, dazedly. He blinks his eyes open, and they seem a little clearer than before.

“How are you feeling?” Liam asks, scouring Sam’s face, trying to read what’s going on in his head, hoping that this worked, although God knows he would happily try again and keep trying right this second if necessary.

“Less...terrible?” Sam says, blinking up at Liam. “But more tired. All the tired. Can I go to sleep now?”

“Okay,” Liam says, since he also feels suddenly exhausted. He pats Sam’s face again and then settles down next to him, throwing a possessive arm over his chest, hoping that they’ll both wake up and find that this hasn’t all been for nothing.

Liam wakes up from his impromptu nap with a futon-induced cramp in his back so bad that he has to let go of Sam in order sit up and stretch it out. As he does, Sam shifts in his sleep and whimpers softly, reaching out for Liam. Liam immediately moves closer to Sam and begins stroking his hair.

“Cold,” Sam mumbles sleepily, and Liam realizes that the flush has mostly faded from Sam’s skin. _This is probably the first time he’s been cold in weeks_ , Liam thinks, and he searches around before finding the faded quilt that had fallen off the end of the futon at some point. He drags it back up and over them, settling back down next to Sam, and Sam sighs happily.

“Better?” Liam asks, although he’s not sure if Sam is awake enough to hear him.

“Mm, yeah,” Sam purrs, snuggling against Liam.

“Are you awake?” Liam asks.

“Kinda…” Sam replies. “Or maybe this is still the same weird fever dream I’ve been having for what seems like weeks.”

“I assure you that this is real and you’re not in Oz, Dorothy,” Liam murmurs, kissing Sam lightly. “But how are you feeling?”

“Much better,” Sam says.

“Really?” Liam asks, relief washing over him.

“Yeah, but just to be sure, I think we should do it again,” Sam says.

Liam laughs. “I’m going to take that as a compliment,” he says.

“Take it however you want, but take me after you take it,” Sam says, giggling a little at his own joke.

_Terrible wordplay has never made me happier_ , Liam thinks as he rolls Sam over and begins to kiss him again.


End file.
